SAHMs vs SAHWwC

Stay at home moms versus stay at home women with children. Yes, there is a difference. I have respect for stay at home mothers. There is a negative stereotype that lands on these poor women - that they are lazy and sit at home watching soap operas while their kids run wild or that they play on the computer all day while their children are planted in front of the television. This, however, is not the case. A stay at home mother efficiently manages and interacts with her home and children. I am fortunate to know mothers as well as women who have children (because there is a difference), and though I am no professional, I can offer my own insight.

Stay at home mom:
Maintains a clean, functional home
Serves 3 full meals and optional snacks
Provide a stimulating learning environment for children
Efficiently manages a budget (with spouse if applicable)

Women who stay home with children:
Do not maintain a clean home
Do not cook or opt for fast food on a regular basis
Do not focus on child development and offer an unregulated amount of television time
**Has reckless spending habits or leaves the budget to someone else

    **This may or may not apply. Some women who stay home can manage a budget just fine.

In my opinion, to be considered a stay at home mother, she must meet at least the first 3 criteria, otherwise she is merely a woman who stays home with her children.

I have spent countless hours and energy maximizing my efficiency with my home and my children. I have done so as a wife, later as a single mother, and now do so with a significant other and his child in the mix. Together, we have 4 children: 2 four year olds, a three year old and a two year old. Every single morning I serve a healthy breakfast and immediately follow with dishes. I also provide an age appropriate homeschooling regimen to each of the children for about 60 minutes every day. At this young age I believe they would start to lose focus if we studied any longer. The kids help me with laundry (we have 1-2 loads each day) and then are free to play in their rooms, the play room, or color at the activity table while I vacuum and do a quick walk-through to take care of any messes. While each day varies, we also play in the back yard, do arts and crafts, go to the park, ride bikes/trikes/scooters... anything active and fun. Then I serve a healthy lunch which is followed by the kids picking up their play room and a nap. I generally use their nap time as prime cleaning time even though there isn't a whole lot of cleaning to do. I have taught my kids to clean up their own dishes, pick up for themselves downstairs, and I don't allow toys downstairs (we have 900 square feet upstairs for toys to be strewn about). I also make the most of my time by multitasking as often as possible. Each day during one of my bathroom breaks I spend 20 seconds wiping down the counters and mirror. During another break I scrub the toilet - yes, daily. I maintain and do mini tasks in the kitchen every time I cook. The kids clean up all their toys upstairs every night before bed. The chores that need to be done a few times a week instead of daily such as mopping, dusting, baseboards, vacuuming the staircase, windows, etc... I do during nap time. I try to always let the kids help me make dinner and we usually have it ready by the time my significant other gets home from his day at work. Weekends are always devoted to family time. While I understand the daily routine of every person is different and would vary greatly from mine, I still believe mothers are different than women with children and a positive, clean, enriching environment is paramount in raising happy, healthy children.

A New Chapter

The saying is true. Once you hit bottom, the only place to go is up. That is exactly where I found myself at the closing of 2011. I was unhappy, my family was irreparably broken and I felt lost and alone. I spent months wallowing in my own self pity and sadness. My marriage was no longer salvageable, I had no job, no finished degree, and no clue what to do next. Friends and family tried to pull me back to my feet and help me stay positive but (for a lack of better words) they could only lead the horse to water. 

At some point I looked at my situation and realized that I was not the only person affected. Three beautiful, innocent children looked up at me waiting for direction, guidance, and stability. So I knew the first and most important thing for me to do was to maintain a stable home for them and I began applying for every job I came across (some several times). After 4 months of bombarding thousands of companies with copies of my resume, I landed a few interviews and was eventually hired on at a home security company in their corporate office. With a job soon starting, I scoured the city for a daycare for my kids. Easy right? NO! I didn't want to just leave them in a stranger's home. I wanted them to be in a safe, educational environment with several adults and cameras in place to guarantee they wouldn't be neglected or abused. This left centers and daycares to choose from but most weren't open the hours that I needed. A large majority of child care centers closed around 6pm but I was scheduled to work until 8pm. Eventually I found a center open until midnight that was in the ghetto of town (so bad I wouldn't normally even drive there in the dark) but it was almost affordable, so I enrolled the kids there. 

I still remember my first day at work: February 6th, 2012. I was bombarded with the entirety of my position within a 4 hour period - furiously taking notes and willing my mind to record every fiber of information. My hair looked great, my bosses were power-drunken dictators, the sales reps were mostly perverted swine (so I was told and advised to ignore), and then time froze. It was the end of my shift, the front door opened, a light shined down and everything ceased to move. My breath caught in my lungs and my heart choked in my chest as he walked through the door. Honestly, I'm not even sure what drew me to him with such fervor. He wasn't as tall as I had imagined "the perfect man," his head was shaved, every inch of his visible skin (head and face aside) was covered in tattoos, his ears were gauged and he smelled of cigarettes. I knew I had to have him. In May, he needed a ride home after work one Saturday and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. From there he requested more rides, we eventually started hanging out, dating, going out and by summer we were an item. Now he lives with me and still gives me butterflies. My kids love him and he loves them. My family likes him. I'm smitten. My relationship is so much different than any I've ever experienced and it has given me a new hope in romance. I'm also proudly employed and supporting my children on my own without help from their deadbeat father who also refuses to see them. I feel accomplished - and it feels great.

un-Super Size Me!

I'm a diet fanatic. I feel like I have tried every single crazy idea that's out there and nothing works. In 2004, Morgan Spurlock shocked American's with his film Super Size Me. He showed us all that anyone who eats fast food is an ignorant lardo who can't make proper decisions for themselves. While I do agree that frequenting fast food restaurants is a poor decision for several reasons, I do not believe that choice makes people ignorant and it's obvious to anyone who isn't blind that not EVERY single fast food customer is obese. In fact, I recently watched a film debunking "Super Size Me" and learned a lot of interesting information. The film is called "Fat Head" and is headed by former nutritionist Tom Naughton. It's great. You should watch it. I did and I was inspired. Thus, I am going to diet according to his theories/facts. I just won't be eating much fast food.

Holy Hiatus!

I have really missed blogging here. I have been so busy with the business (which is good) that weekends have me tied up at swap marts, craft fairs, and other art shows and weeks are spent cleaning the house and loving my babies. I was able to attend a webinar yesterday that made a huge impact on me and my business decisions. I think the information I learned will really help me to reach some of my goals. Sadly, it requires that I start using word press for my business instead of blogger.com since it's better for seo. This breaks my heart. I feel like I am betraying my favorite blogging site. Don't take it personally, blogger.com, it's just business. Anyway, sales are up and that means my online "homebase" needs to get up and running. For now, I need to try to learn some HTML while the kids are napping so I can figure out all of this marketing stuff for CCJ. Much love to my followers!

March Madness!

I have been such a busy girl I haven't even had time to update me (now lonely) blog! I've been staying on top of housework, and working 20-30 hours a week for my own business. I make and sell jewelry at several locations. If you are interested in coming out to see the wares, just let me know! My babies are progressing wonderfully! Both my 1 and 2 year old can count to 10. They are alphabet pros and my 2 year old is perfecting his shapes. My 5 month old is going far, fast as well! The house is undergoing lots of changes as well! We've installed recessed lighting, replaced the sliding glass door with French doors, put a security door in the front and a few other upgrades. We have been going full speed! We even got a deep freezer so I'll be going grocery shopping on Thursday to stock up! Look for my monthly meal plan!