A New Chapter

The saying is true. Once you hit bottom, the only place to go is up. That is exactly where I found myself at the closing of 2011. I was unhappy, my family was irreparably broken and I felt lost and alone. I spent months wallowing in my own self pity and sadness. My marriage was no longer salvageable, I had no job, no finished degree, and no clue what to do next. Friends and family tried to pull me back to my feet and help me stay positive but (for a lack of better words) they could only lead the horse to water. 

At some point I looked at my situation and realized that I was not the only person affected. Three beautiful, innocent children looked up at me waiting for direction, guidance, and stability. So I knew the first and most important thing for me to do was to maintain a stable home for them and I began applying for every job I came across (some several times). After 4 months of bombarding thousands of companies with copies of my resume, I landed a few interviews and was eventually hired on at a home security company in their corporate office. With a job soon starting, I scoured the city for a daycare for my kids. Easy right? NO! I didn't want to just leave them in a stranger's home. I wanted them to be in a safe, educational environment with several adults and cameras in place to guarantee they wouldn't be neglected or abused. This left centers and daycares to choose from but most weren't open the hours that I needed. A large majority of child care centers closed around 6pm but I was scheduled to work until 8pm. Eventually I found a center open until midnight that was in the ghetto of town (so bad I wouldn't normally even drive there in the dark) but it was almost affordable, so I enrolled the kids there. 

I still remember my first day at work: February 6th, 2012. I was bombarded with the entirety of my position within a 4 hour period - furiously taking notes and willing my mind to record every fiber of information. My hair looked great, my bosses were power-drunken dictators, the sales reps were mostly perverted swine (so I was told and advised to ignore), and then time froze. It was the end of my shift, the front door opened, a light shined down and everything ceased to move. My breath caught in my lungs and my heart choked in my chest as he walked through the door. Honestly, I'm not even sure what drew me to him with such fervor. He wasn't as tall as I had imagined "the perfect man," his head was shaved, every inch of his visible skin (head and face aside) was covered in tattoos, his ears were gauged and he smelled of cigarettes. I knew I had to have him. In May, he needed a ride home after work one Saturday and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. From there he requested more rides, we eventually started hanging out, dating, going out and by summer we were an item. Now he lives with me and still gives me butterflies. My kids love him and he loves them. My family likes him. I'm smitten. My relationship is so much different than any I've ever experienced and it has given me a new hope in romance. I'm also proudly employed and supporting my children on my own without help from their deadbeat father who also refuses to see them. I feel accomplished - and it feels great.